Want to Run Away

Well, to continue with the story I have tell why my husband took me to the doctor the day they had the conference about his brother Harold. I kind of did this backwards so read the post below and then read this one.

Several weeks ago I was sitting at my computer doing genealogy, and all of a sudden I broke out in a full sweat running down my face type of thing. I was glad I was sitting as I felt like I was going to pass out.  It was kind of a scary thing, but I brushed it off and decided to do the wait and see thing.  I have been having  pressure and pain in my chest which I felt was Reflux, or GERD as I was diagnosed with several years ago.

It was time for my diabetic check, so I made an appointment with my doctor and told him about the symptoms I was having.  We decided together that I needed to go to my heart specialist first and more than likely have test done, especially since I am diabetic and diabetics are prone to heart disease.

I did go to my heart specialist, and he set me up for several heart test, one being the stress test.  I had the chemical test, and Wow!!! even though I have had it before that feeling you get when they put in the chemical  is a scary thing.  I felt like I couldn't breath and was coached to take deep breaths.  The techs said I would feel like I had run a marathon.  My reply was, "I would rather run a marathon!"  After the chemical test, I was taken to have another X-Ray and then I would get to see my doctor for the results of all the tests.  I was so sure everything would be good and I would be released with a good heart.

I was in for a surprise as the doctor told me I had a abnormal stress test.  He said it wasn't a smoking gun and I could wait for six months and be checked again.  No way was I going to wait six months, wondering and worrying that something could be wrong with my heart.  So for my birthday, I get an Angiogram. I still am sure that my pain and pressure is GERD, and the next step of the plan is for me to go to a doctor who could put a stitch in my flap to stop the acid from coming up in my throat. So now I have a few days to stress about the test as I get so nervous before these kinds of procedures.  I made myself sick just waiting for the tests I had done on  last Thursday.  Wish I knew how to stop it.

Last Thursday just seemed to be a bad news day, as that is when we found out about Harold, my test was abnormal, my daughter, while at work, had a drunk over 200 pound guy fall into her making her fall, and now she is bruised up, hurt her shoulder trying to catch herself, and she thinks she even hit her head.  Here is the worst part, there was no I'm sorry from the man, and no one offered to help her up, help her clean up the mess as she had a full tray of drinks she was carrying when this happened. The drunk man's friends helped him out of the area and just left Sherry there to fend for herself. I just can't believe how rude people are now days.  Then I got the bad news of a friend having breast cancer, my cousin may have lung cancer.  Wow!!!! isn't it time for some good news?!!!!

It's Been a Roller Coaster

I have been a blog slacker for quite a while now.  To be honest I just haven't felt like blogging.  My husband's brother, Harold, went in the hospital on January 7 to have a heart pump put in below his heart to help his heart function.  He was in congestive heart failure due to a virus attacking his hear several years ago.

He was up and down about having this procedure done as his wife is in a care center under hospice care as she has Alzheimer and has been steadily going down hill.  Harold and Janie have been married 50 plus years and those years have been happy ones for them.  Harold made the comment to my husband more than one time that he didn't want to live without Janie.

After the surgery was done on January 8, Harold was put into a coma for a 24 hour period which is the procedure they do on all patients having this surgery.  They left his chest open, and wrapped it with special type of saran wrap so they can watch for bleeding and also to make sure the pump is working like it should.  When Harold came out of the coma everything was functioning like it should. They closed up the chest and moved him to his own room as he had been in intensive care.

He was sitting on his bed eating his breakfast, and when he finished he asked the nurse if he could sit in the chair by his bed.  The nurse left the room for just a few minutes to get someone to help Harold into the chair.  When they came back, Harold was laying unconscious on the bed.  He had flat lined and they did CPR on him breaking a rib in the process.  I can't imagine doing CPR on a Chest that had just been stitched up from the heart surgery.

The doctor who had operated on Harold just happened to be in the hospital as they had cancelled a surgery, so he was called, and they rushed Harold back into surgery.  From that point on it was an up and down cycle of hope and despair.  They kept him in an induced coma, again this time saying they would slowly bring him out of it.  His vitals were good, but they kept finding things that were wrong.  He got infection in the portal in his neck, found out he had diverticulitis, and other things that kept coming up.  All of this was treatable. So thus the roller coaster ride.

Finally, it was decided that the family would have a conference with Harold's doctor.  Frank couldn't take part in this as he took me to the doctor that day.  When we got home, Frank called his sister who told us the results of that conference.  The doctor was a little upset as he felt we were getting false information about Harold's condition and he wanted us to know that Harold was doing well, that they would be slowly bringing him out of the coma and unhooking him.  Then they would do a CT-Scan to see if there was any brain damage.  He had told the family that he thought if there was any brain damage it wouldn't be anything Harold couldn't live with.

Finally after another week of waiting, they were able to unhook Harold and have the scan done.  Unfortunately, the results were not good.  When Harold had the blood clot, it must have broken off and and had hit the lower lobe of his brain, and he had a stroke.  Harold would be a vegetable as long as he was alive.

His daughter Sherrie will be flying down to GA from Maine as soon as the horrible weather they are having back in that area clears up.  The flights have been cancelled until Monday.  She is the one that has the power of attorney and has to give the permission to unplug her Dad.  I feel so bad for as she is really close to Harold, and this is going to be really hard on her.  She will get to say her good by to him and that is a good thing.  Harold wants to be cremated and his ashes placed in his wife's coffin when she passes away.  We don't know if they will hold any services, and if they do, we will fly to GA to be with the family.

A year ago at Christmas time, I bought my husband a skype camera so he could skype with his brother.  So they set up a time on Mondays to skype.  I will miss hearing that Southern drawl saying long and dragged out "Hello Brother."  I would come into our office and visit with Harold and we would laugh about how we were doing with our diabetic diet.  He mostly cheating and me saying "Harold what are you doing."!!!!  It is sad to watch as we are all aging, one sibling at a time is leaving the world. Frank is now the oldest in the family and at one time was the youngest of three brothers and now he is the only brother left.  Harold, we will miss you terribly, but we know you are in a better place, and someday soon you will have a joyous reunion with Janie, and eventually with all of us.  May God rest his hand of comfort on the family.

Granddaughter Moving

My Granddaughter Robyn, posted this picture on facebook.  Moving day was yesterday.  Her husband has a new job at a hospital in Watsonville, CA as the Chief Financial Officer. He started a couple of months ago, so he and his family have been living apart.  They finally found a home and now their little family will be together again.  I am happy for them, but sad for Frank and I as it has been fun having them so close.  I will especially be sad Monday when we make the trip to Mesquite for Frank's pain management appointment.  Frank usually drops me off at Robyn's home so I can visit her and Braxton, and then after his appointment, he comes for a visit too, and sometimes plays around on the golf course that was in Robyn's backyard.

I am going to miss these special people and watching Braxton grow, but Robyn promised to post pictures on facebook and I will look forward to those.  I will miss the hugs, lunch with the girls, and the visits at her home.  I was elated last week when Robyn dropped by for a visit, as this would be our last visit before the move.  Frank was sick, so Robyn and I visited in our little living room and I had fun playing with Braxton.  

Happy New Year

Can you believe that another year has gone by?  I think time has sped up as it just seems to fly by. The flu bug hit our house and I was sick for Christmas, and now poor Frank has it.  We sure love to share the good, bad, and the ugly.  Guess we won't be celebrating New Years Eve, but then it isn't on our priority list of celebrations.  It is a good time to stay home safe from all the drunk drivers on the road.  I usually go to bed before the New Year comes in.  Tonight I will tuck in a sick husband.

I hope this New Year brings us peace, wonderful surprises, and most of all good health.

Happy New Year

Winter of my Life

	I received this poem via e-mail a few days ago.  I loved it as it really hit home with me.  I have been feeling a little depressed lately as I fight fatigue every day of my life.  Yesterday was a really bad day for me and I found it very hard to function.  I ended up on the couch most of the day feeling worthless and well, just sick and tired of being sick and tired.  I have decided I have to live with this the rest of my life as I have tried to figure out what is wrong. The doctor ran blood work and tried to help me get to the root of the problem. My blood work came out good except for my A1C test was a little high so it has to be my Diabetes. Everything I read, hear, etc. refers to Diabetes as a disease that causes fatigue.

I know my diet has a lot to do with it, and it is so hard to stick to a very low carb diet.  Even fruits will make my blood sugar rise. I get so tried of having to watch and think about everything I put into my mouth and paying the price when I eat something I shouldn't. I know that not too far into the future, I will have to go on insulin and that scares me as it is kind of tricky, and can cause dangerous low blood sugar.   I usually don't post personal things like this, but this is how I feel lately. The poem really hit home with me as it describes how I feel, wishing we could have done more things and couldn't because of health problems, either Frank's or mine. Life does pass us by so fast, and before we know it we are in the Winter of our Lives.

             Winter of My Life

        You know. . . Time has a way of moving quickly

        And catching you unaware of the passing years.

        It seems just yesterday that I was young, 

        Just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. 

        And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago,

        And I wonder where all the years went. 

        I know that I lived them all...

        And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... 

        But, here it is... The winter of my life and it catches me by surprise...

        How did I get here so fast? 

        Where did the years go and where did my youth go?

        I remember well... 

        Seeing older people through the years and thinking that those

        Older people were years away from me and that winter was so far off 

        That I could not fathom it or imagine fully what it would be like...

        But, here it is... 

        My friends are retired and getting grey... 

        They move slower and I see an older person now. 

        Some are in better and some worse shape than me... 

        But, I see the great change...

        Not like the ones that I remember who were young and vibrant... 

        But, like me, their age is beginning to show and we are now those

        Older folks that we used to see and never thought we'd be.

        Each day now, I find that just getting a shower is a real target for the day! 

        And taking a nap is not a treat anymore... it's mandatory! 

        'Cause if I don't on my own free will... I just fall asleep where I sit!

        And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared 

        For all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability 

        To go and do things that I wish I had done but never did!!

        Yes, I have regrets.

        There are things I wish I hadn't done... 

        Things I should have done, but indeed,

        There are many things I'm happy to have done. 

        It's all in a lifetime...

        So, if you're not in your winter yet... 

        Let me remind you, that it will be here faster than you think. 

        Whatever you would like to accomplish in your life, please do it quickly! 

        Don't put things off too long!!

        Life goes by quickly. So, do what you can today, 

        As you can never be sure whether this is your winter or not!

        You have no promise that you will see all the seasons of your life...

        So, live for today and say all the things you want your loved ones to remember... 

        And hope they appreciate and love you for all the things 

        You have done for them in all the years past!!

        Life is a gift to you.

        The way you live your life is your gift to those who come after. 

        Make it a fantastic one.

        ~ And, Remember ~

        "It is health that is real wealth

        And not pieces of gold or silver."

         

         

 

 

Frank's Been a Busy Bee

Frank working on back splash tile

Finished

Another view 

Frank finished the tile project making another dream of mine come true.  A week later he was working on the Christmas yard decorations.

The street view

Santa making a potty stop

My favorite 

Frank added the fence to the Nativity, and I had Sherry bring me a box of her hay so I could spread it around.  For some reason, I think it looks more beautiful this year.

I want to thank Bret and Laura for the wonderful Thanksgiving dinner.  We were a small bunch this year, but I liked having a nice quite dinner, and the food was really good.

Fun With My Saint George Cousins

A few weeks ago, we went to Saint George to see my cousin Lorri's son Josh's play, Harvey, at the Tuacahn High School. What a bunch of talented kids.  We laughed our heads off.  Josh played Judge Omar Gaffney and he  was awesome.  It was Josh's birthday so we all met after the play at my cousin Penny's new home to have cake and ice cream.  We had a wonderful ham dinner Josh's favorite with the family before the play. Penny and Bill's new home is beautiful and I loved the floor plan.

We enjoyed riding up to Tuachan with Gina and Gavin a wonderful young couple.  As we drove up there we chatted, and I found out that Gina didn't know very much about her Grandma Kay who was my Aunt.  So that made me realize that it would be a good idea to blog a little about my memories of my Aunt who was like a second mom to me. So I am hoping to do that on her birthday, December 20. Frank and I spent the night in Saint George and enjoyed our little get a way and it is always nice to be with my Saint George family. They are awesome and always doing something fun together.  

Josh opening presents still in his stage make up note the grey hair